


Sense and Sensibility

by fragilespark



Category: Dragon Age II
Genre: F/M, Jane Austen - Freeform, Regency, austen age bb
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-12-27
Updated: 2016-01-17
Packaged: 2018-03-03 18:19:47
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 11
Words: 16,476
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2860520
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/fragilespark/pseuds/fragilespark
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Marian and Bethany Hawke have lived in Lothering Park all their life, but when their half-brother Garrett inherits the estate, the sisters and their mother must find a new life in reduced circumstances. They soon find new society, but while Marian conceals the depth of her feelings, Bethany throws herself into romance, risking propriety to be true to her heart.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Lothering

Mr. Garrett Hawke inherited Lothering Park on the death of his father, Mr. Malcolm Hawke. This late gentleman, having remarried after the death of his first wife, also left two daughters by the second Mrs. Hawke, but was bound by the legality of his own inheritance to leave his entire estate to his firstborn son, save the sum of one thousand pounds to each of his daughters. His wife would receive seven thousand pounds, which was the entirety of his fortune not bound up in the estate. Before his passing, he entreated his son to provide for his mother-in-law and sisters as much as was in his power to do so, which was not inconsiderable, as Garrett had already benefitted greatly from the inheritance from his mother and added to it by his own advantageous marriage to a lady of wealth. Mrs. Varania Hawke had borne her husband a son, who they had named Gamlen after Garrett's great-uncle, and the acquisition of Lothering was no more than the family felt entitled to in order to maintain their life of comfort. Still, Garrett was not without heart, and he thought to himself that he would give his half-sisters a further thousand pounds each as soon as matters were settled.

Where one future was secured, another was made uncertain. Mrs. Leandra Hawke, mourning the death of her husband, also had to contend with the imminent loss of her home, a misfortune that would be shared by her daughters. Their grief and plight were made even more acute by the sudden and unnanounced arrival of Varania and her servants shortly after the funeral. The right to use the house was unequivocally hers, and yet the indelicacy of her behaviour greatly injured the previous lady of the house and did nothing to improve relations between them. It was only the plea of the elder Miss Hawke to her mother that avoided the rift that would be caused by them quitting the house in affront. Marian Hawke, with her sense and good judgement, had often provided rational counsel to her family, and her cool head allowed her to continue the civility required when her mother and sister felt unequal to it. Her younger sister, Bethany, did not attempt to console her mother, instead sharing her grief and feeding it with her own. Bethany did not believe that the feelings she was so sensible to should be moderated, be they joy or sorrow, and thus Marian was often forced to exert herself twice as much to hide her own.

Garrett arrived at Lothering and, satisfied he found them all well, related to his wife the idea of how he would provide for his sisters' comfort.

Varania was quite shocked. "One thousand pounds each? Why, they will get that on the death of their mother! Whatever made you think of doubling their inheritance?"

"Well, I had not thought of it that way. Only that I promised Father I would provide whatever assistance I could."

"At the expense of your own son? How our little Gamlen will feel the loss of two thousand pounds! No real sister would allow such a thing to happen to her dear nephew; what possible claim can a half-sister have?"

Garrett began to understand his wife's outrage. "Perhaps a full thousand each _was_ excessive. But I am determined to enact that which will ease their change in circumstance. If they had one thousand between them, then...?"

"Oh, but you are entirely too generous. How can you think of giving them money at all? I am sure your father thought of more practical concerns. Think of how much they will need to do in their new home, and not a man to hunt for them."

"I could supply them with fish and game to see them handsomely through the beginning of their stay," Garrett said, and when his lady did not object, he ventured, "and perhaps as a gift for the festive season." Her nod was his victory, and he concluded the matter. "Yes, I wonder that I thought they would have time to go shopping at all."

Varania, satisfied the business was over, returned her attention to their son.

 

A month after she had been demoted to a mere guest in the house she had loved so well, Mrs. Hawke recovered enough to renew her intention of leaving Lothering as soon as possible, and sat with Marian to discuss a list of houses she had drawn up. However, Marian soon found that despite her mother's best attempts at considering the advantages and disadvantages of each house, the most pressing point eluded her - they were all far beyond their means. Marian gently persisted in pointing this out until Leandra understood that they would have to think very differently about their future home. Bethany's grief had also dulled slightly, but unable to endure the company of her relations beyond forced civility, and having nothing to please or amuse her within the walls of the house, was too sullen and dispirited to participate in their discussion.

The first visitor to call at Lothering Park was Varania's brother, Mr. Fenris Ferrars. Marian was walking the grounds when he arrived, and his bow to her on alighting the carriage was so humble, that she drew nearer instead of waiting for their hosts to receive him. He shared the striking features of his sister, but his expression was soft where hers was sharp. Marian had expected him to proceed into the house after her curtsy, but he waited for her to approach.

"I have the pleasure of speaking to Miss Hawke?"

Marian smiled and gave a nod. "You do, sir. Welcome to-" she stopped at her blunder. It was not her place to welcome him, and yet she was already disposed to do so. His address, his looks, his voice, they were all pleasing to her, and she was only sorry not to have made his acquaintance sooner.

"Ah, yes. I am grateful to you."

They looked at each other for a long moment. While Marian had suppressed many difficult emotions in order to be civil to her relations, she had not accounted for the wish to be open that briefly had her at a loss. She was sure that the correct pleasantries would come to her, but Garrett soon emerged from the house to receive his brother-in-law and relieved her from her duty.

 

While the prospect of a stranger in their former home, particularly while they still mourned, had been a source of dread, it soon became apparent that Fenris' demeanour was the perfect addition to the household. His behaviour was quiet and unobtrusive enough to respect their grief, and yet he provided a source of company and kindness that soon endeared him to the Miss Hawkes. Marian, in particular, found his company to be the sweetest balm to the hardship of the last few months. Their dispositions were similar; his reserve owed more to shyness than her prudence, but they both possessed an affectionate temper that was not long concealed under propriety. Even Bethany began to recover a brightness about her in conversing with him, and though she found him lacking in her idea of taste for music and art, and the kind of passionate air she thought a young man should have, she could not help but be fond of him.

 

This fondness was soon to be shared by her mother once she realised the growing attachment between Mr. Ferrars and her eldest daughter. She already thought well of him merely from learning that he was nothing like his sister, and every day raised him higher in her estimation. If he was thoughtful it was proof of his gallantry, and if he praised Marian's drawings it was proof of his regard for her, since Bethany thought him unable to discern one from the other.

Bethany had no need to conceal this opinion from her sister, though Marian did her best to counter it, and neither of them changed their opinion on the matter.

"Marian, you must not think I believe him devoid of all worth! He is good and kind. And if you call him handsome, I will love him as a brother, for that is what he will be soon, will he not?"

"Bethany!" cried Marian, suddenly aware of her surroundings lest they be overheard, and aware of having betrayed her own passion in Fenris' defence. It was true that for some time she had held him in the highest regard, and perceiving him to have an honest heart, understood that it was mutual. But her sister's romantic wish would quickly become an expectation that none could promise to satisfy. "It is true that I highly esteem- ...that I like him."

"Such cold words! Oh, Marian!"

She was so indignant that Marian had to laugh. "What else should I admit on so short an acquaintance? Do not doubt my feelings, Bethany, but please do not imagine intentions he cannot have yet imagined himself."

"Mother and I were so sure you were already engaged!"

Marian was mortified that their fantasy had been so advanced, and worse, shared between them. The expectation weighed further on her, as it would be a source of hope to her mother that she marry well and improve their desperate situation. But Marian was not so sure that Fenris would answer all their dreams so easily, for even as Mrs. Ferrars was rich, her fortune was at her disposal, and a match deemed unsuitable might turn her favour towards her younger son.


	2. Departure

Fenris' situation was such that he was still dependent on his mother, Mrs. Hadriana Ferrars, and he had no means of procuring a home of his own. Mrs. Ferrars was determined to see him successful and distinguished, but strictly in the manner of her choosing. Her intention for him was that he should enter politics, but Fenris had no great ambition for himself beyond a quiet, comfortable life. He often spoke of his younger brother as being 'more promising in that regard', as he was easy in society in a way Fenris was not. 

One happy side effect of his lack of occupation was that he was at liberty to stay at Lothering for several months with them. Marian noticed a want of spirits in him from time to time, and could only attribute it to the opposing views of his mother preventing him from being truly free and contented. However, his mood did occasionally make Marian doubt the strength of his regard for her; it might be no more than friendship after all. Still, she did not change her behaviour towards him, and listened to him with pleasure when Bethany gave him one of her favourite poetry books to read to them all one evening.

"Oh, Mama!" Bethany burst out after they had retired to their quarters. "Did you hear him? I am so sorry for Marian if _that_ is how he reads such beautiful lines. Such dryness! Words that have almost driven me wild, to be so lifeless on his lips!"

"Not everyone has your kind of passion, Bethany."

"But how could he truly be so calm reading those words to-" here she dropped her voice, "to his audience?"

Leandra refused to believe a lack of love between Fenris and Marian. The promise of their relationship was the only thing that had slowed her venture to find a new home. "Perhaps he is not a great reader."

Bethany flopped on her bed in an ungraceful manner. "But he _is_ perfectly educated. And he has a heart, does he not?" When Leandra just sighed, her own breath heaved. "I require so much. I will never meet a man who I can truly love."

Leandra smiled. "You are but eighteen. There is time."

 

Fenris was frequently invited to join Marian and Bethany on their walks about the grounds. The melancholy of having to leave their beloved gardens was soothed by his company. Bethany would run up to the trees on the hill, leaving Marian and Fenris to walk ahead alone. Marian was well aware of the design behind this, although she granted Bethany's genuine love for nature and exercise, and thus had no need to suspect any motherly persuasion.

These walks were precious to Marian. "I hope, wherever we are settled, that we will be able to enjoy walks such as these again."

"Undoubtedly. Whatever landscape you find yourselves in, I am sure you and your sister will make the best of it."

Marian had meant herself and Fenris, but she chose silence on that point. "That is thanks to our father." It was the first time she had mentioned him to Fenris beyond the initial formalities. "He encouraged our natural abilities as long as they served the best in us. Bethany will be moved to play better by the birdsong, and I will find useful herbs to pick, and we will both be in good health from the exercise."

"I am sorry for your loss," Fenris said gently. He had said it before, on the first day, but it was touching that he still thought of her. He sighed. "My own father was very different. He was a wealthy man with great influence, and being from Tevinter, the influence was the most important part. His... direction shaped the rest of my family." He paused. "It shaped me too, although not to his design."

Marian felt for him, to bear such pressure still so many years after his father's death, and his strength in resisting it. They turned onto the path back to the house. "If I may say so, you are a man any father would be proud of." Marian could not presume to speak for his father, but Fenris was the finest gentleman she had ever met, and she had no other way of letting him know that.

He turned to her and smiled. "Thank you."

 

Leandra observed them through the window 

Varania soon joined her. "My mother is so eager to see him back in town, and I am sure he is longing to return too."

Strange, Leandra thought, how Fenris had not yet voiced an intention to go to Hightown. "I am glad he has been here with us. We will all miss him very much."

"Quite." Varania said, with no attempt at sympathy. "I fear he will be much engaged with the de Montforts soon. My mother has a particular wish to introduce him to Miss de Montfort, and with a prospect like the daughter of a Duke, I am sure none of us will want him to settle for anything less."

Leandra took the heavy hint indignantly. "I wish him only happiness."

 

During the following week, Varania continued to allude to the great expectations they all had for Fenris, and took every opportunity to remind the Hawke sisters of his reliance on Mrs. Ferrars' good opinion and generosity. Leandra was so provoked by this behaviour that she could barely remember to be civil.

It was in this state that she received a timely letter from her cousin, Lady Elegant Tethras. It informed her that a property on their estate had become vacant, and that she and her husband would be happy to receive them at Kirkwall Park so that they could assess if Lowtown Cottage would be suitable, if they had not already procured a living elsewhere. Leandra told Marian straight away.

"Kirkwall? Why would we go there?"

"We still have family there. They have an estate." Leandra showed her the letter.

Marian, while she had never met her relative, had no objections to the description of the cottage or, more importantly, the rent.

"I am going to accept the offer immediately," Leandra said, sitting at her writing table.

"But, Mother, we have not yet seen the house. And- have you even met Sir Tethras?"

"I have no reason to doubt that the house is as described, or that there will be anything untoward in the society we find there. We cannot stay in this house a moment longer. We can invite Fenris to stay at _our_ house next time."

Marian started at the mention, and went in search of Bethany so that she could be included in the discussion. Bethany was as eager as Leandra to quit the place; while still dear to their hearts, it was no longer their home, and nothing would be gained by delaying further. Marian knew this, and put her mind to the imminent move instead of what might have been. Leandra had great pleasure in announcing their plans to go to the Free Marches.

"So far!" Garrett said, with feeling. "I had no idea that you wanted to leave Ferelden."

"I did not think to return there at first, but the generosity of our relations has allowed us to secure a house." Leandra was only sorry that she was separating Fenris and Marian, but if he really was to be in town soon, then they would be that much closer. "You are welcome to visit us as soon as we are settled. Fenris, you as well. We would be very glad to see you there."

He thanked them more graciously than his hosts did.

 

In only a few weeks, their possessions had left Lothering and the day came when they were to follow. Leandra had received a promise of some game and other supplies from Garrett, and it ended her hope of receiving any other assistance than their accommodation at Lothering Park. She decided they would travel directly to Lowtown Cottage, as she was uncomfortable with the idea of imposing on an unknown gentleman in his own home.

Garrett helped Leandra into the carriage first, expressing his remorse that they were going so far away. Bethany sniffed, looking around her at the grounds she would leave behind. Marian was trying to ready herself for the tiring journey.

Fenris came to her. "Marian. A gift."

She turned with surprise, for she had got him nothing. "Thank you." She took the small, flat parcel and guessed it to be a book, but soon returned her attention to Fenris. She would not see his face for some time, and felt it keenly. She would miss him. Marian held her hand out to him and he took it, kissing the back of her glove. He only let go after he had helped her into the carriage.

"Goodbye."

"Goodbye, Fenris. Maker bless you."

The horses started and they left the park, out of sight of it sooner than seemed possible. Marian doubted she would see Lothering again, but her dearest wish was to be reunited with Fenris before long.


	3. Kirkwall

The displaced Hawke ladies had sent ahead the only three servants they would be able to employ in their new residence. Thus Orana added housekeeper and cook to her duties as lady's maid; Bodahn was now butler, footman and general manservant, and his son Sandal was to be their only gardener. Mrs. Hawke and her daughters knew full well that they would have to run the house in a more practical manner and perform many tasks themselves if they were to survive with only one maid.

To say that Lowtown Cottage was plain was to be kind. Their arrival after several long days' travel did not cheer their spirits much. It looked small, very small, and the outside had suffered from neglect. While it was sure to be structurally sound, the weathered paint and overgrown garden made it look abandoned instead of recently vacated.

Bethany clutched Marian's arm as they descended the carriage and were led inside by Bodahn, but the inside of the property presented a slightly better picture. With the fires lit and most of the furniture in the appropriate rooms, they were soon arranging their possessions with a determined view of making it their home. The presence of their servants made for a refreshing change of conversation and they were soon finding out the quirks of the property for themselves. Marian and Bethany would now share a bedroom, and the view of the surroundings fulfilled the promise of the pretty countryside they had travelled through to get there. After the initial shock and unfavourable comparison to Lothering, the merits of Lowtown were gradually uncovered. Marian found a home for Fenris' still unopened gift in a small drawer of a cabinet she had claimed. Opening it could wait until a calmer, more private moment.

"Would you like me to send a dispatch to Sir Tethras to let him know you've arrived, my lady?" asked Bodahn.

"No, that won't be necessary." Leandra said. "We'll call on him tomorrow."

 

The next morning, however, while they were having breakfast, their landlord arrived.

"Varric Tethras, at your service."

Sir Varric Tethras, descended from one of the great families of Orzammar, showed none of the pride that men of his wealth and station often had. He had come to greet them all himself, and to invite them to dine at Kirkwall Park that very day. He was eager to assure them that any assistance that was in his power to give would be at their disposal.

"My carriage will pick you up at four. Oh, I insist. And Lady Tethras can't wait to see you all."

 

The Hawke sisters spent the rest of the morning exploring the immediate grounds of the cottage; beyond the small gardens, which needed maintenance before they could be walked through and enjoyed, there was the prospect of woods and fields as well as the hill path that led eventually to Kirkwall village. The fresh air did them both good, and on their return Bethany found that her pianoforte had been unpacked and so set about to play. Her music cheered the household, and while Leandra and the servants were busy downstairs, Marian took the opportunity to go up to her room.

She dallied a while, fixing a drawing of hers on the wall and putting the writing table in order, but eventually she sat on her bed and opened the bed-side cabinet, which had been her primary object on coming upstairs. The parcel was simply wrapped, and others might think it plain, but she understood the modesty of its giver and found nothing wanting. She opened it to find that it was indeed a book: _Botany of the Free Marches, an Illustrated Guide_. Her smile as she stroked the lettering was full of warmth for Fenris' thoughtfulness on remembering something so small that she'd said.

Inside, his graceful hand read:

_To Miss H._

_From your friend,_

_F._

No message, beyond what was proper. And while Marian might miss what might have been, it was enough. Everything she wanted was there on the page, to comfort her whenever she opened the cover.

 

The Hawkes arrived at the grand Kirkwall Park estate that afternoon, and the sisters finally met their cousin Elegant. While not as infectiously friendly and warm as her husband, she was charming and intelligent and was soon well-liked by Marian in particular, who although younger was closest to her in age. Marian could tell by Bethany's polite conversation that she didn't find Lady Elegant particularly interesting, although a longer acquaintance might improve her first impression.

"We only have a small dining party tonight," announced Elegant. "There will be two more joining us. I will be sure to send more invitations out in the coming days."

"I hope you will not trouble yourself on our account," said Leandra.

"Oh, nonsense!" Varric said. "The more the merrier in this house. Friends are always welcome, and we'll have plenty of conversation to go round with a new family in the neighbourhood."

Marian was relieved the party would be small; she had not anticipated meeting any more strangers that day beyond the Tethras family, and felt she would be unequal to any great social exertion.

 

Varric brought the first acquaintance in before long, as he was staying as a guest at the Park. He was a tall, serious looking man, with a hint of grey starting to streak through his blond hair.

"May I present my good friend Colonel Anders Brandon. And these are the Miss Hawkes. Didn't I tell you we'd have some fine company tonight? And Mrs. Hawke, of course. Sit down, sit down."

Col. Brandon bowed before his friend could interrupt the formality. "How do you do."

It wasn't that Varric was without manners. In fact, it was the opposite. He was so welcoming and sociable that any lapse of etiquette was never a slight and easily overlooked. He seemed a man who knew exactly what was required but was keen to make everyone feel at ease as soon as possible.

Leandra had not long engaged Anders in conversation when a woman strode in unannounced. She had big smiles for everyone and Marian was convinced she saw her wink at Varric. Before she could be alarmed, it turned out that she was Mrs. Isabela Tethras, the wife of Varric's late brother Mr. Bartrand Tethras.

"Oh, you are the dearest girls," she said to Marian and Bethany. "Well, Lothering's loss is Kirkwall's gain! Whatever broken hearts you left behind, you can make up for here. Well, _one_ of you can." She gave Anders a sly glance and burst into laughter.

Marian thought her behaviour entirely inappropriate for a first meeting, but the cheerfulness and witty banter on offer from both Isabela and Varric made for a lively dinner, and it kept some of her melancholy at bay.


	4. Rescue

Varric left them, and they overheard him joyfully greeting someone named Bianca. When he returned, it was with a pretty hound beside him, who he petted and allowed to eat some of his food.

"Any of you ladies know how to play?" Varric asked after dinner, gesturing to the pianoforte as they entered the room.

"Bethany." Said Marian and Leandra at the same time.

Bethany didn't just know how to perform; she loved music and made no apology for it. She played beautifully, and heard many words of praise during the performance, from all but one of her new audience. Anders listened quietly, and Bethany found that more respectful than the friends who were too busy talking about how lovely the piece was to actually listen with the feeling it deserved.

Isabela made it known to Marian that she had been watching them both. "It's about time Anders had his eye on someone. He's rich and she's handsome. They'd make a great match."

"A match? Mrs. Tethras, you cannot think-"

"Please, Isabela. And yes - you're going to tell me it's far too soon to think of such things, but why not? Or are you eyeing him for yourself?"

Marian blushed in surprise at such forward talk.

Varric walked over. "Isabela! Scandalising our guests already?" He cleared his throat. "We are the very souls of moderation, Miss Hawke. I promise."

The exaggeration was not lost on Marian, and while she was not assured that she would be spared from further impertinence, she did understand that it came from the jovial nature of her two friends, and not from malicious intent. Isabela rose to encourage everyone to take more wine, even though Elegant was the hostess.

Varric leaned into Marian's confidence. "Mrs. Tethras is a young widow, but she's not interested in marrying again, so she tries to marry everyone else off. I'm guessing that's what caused the blush?"

Marian was able to keep her cool this time. "A suggestion was made, yes."

 

When this suggestion was communicated to Bethany in the following weeks, to protect her from the teasing that had begun to arise, it could not have been more outrageous.

"Colonel Brandon? But he's too old! How could anyone think of marrying him?"

"Bethany!" said Leandra, "He is not so advanced in his years to be entirely without prospects."

"But he is almost twice my age - how could he have feeling of any kind left?"

Marian took up the Colonel's defence. "You are being unkind."

Bethany sighed. "What about Fenris? Why does he not visit? He does not have the excuse of age to stop him."

"No, but he has other engagements." Marian said, unperturbed by the change in subject. "I would not expect him to drop them all just to visit us."

"Not expect it? Marian, you astound me." Bethany stood, shaking her head. "I am going for a walk."

 

Bethany left them to the imminent visit of Sir Tethras, and if Colonel Brandon was going to be with him, all the better for her to be out. She walked to a high hill, the country air filling her strong lungs, and looked out at the view. She relished the felicity of feeling life in her like this, and despite the threat of further light rain, resolved to reach a higher point before she was to turn back.

Her steps were too sure for where the water lingered among the grass, and she slipped down an incline, tumbling to the ground. Her limbs shook and she looked about her soiled clothes as she tried to compose herself. She heard the approach of a horse, and looked up to see its rider dismount, a handsome gentleman of smart dress and bright blue eyes.

He immediately went to her aid. "Are you hurt, Miss?"

Bethany noted his pretty accent as she took his hand and attempted to stand up. The pain in her ankle prevented it and before she could admit her struggle, the man put his arms around her to stop her falling back down.

"May I carry you to your house? You live nearby?"

"Yes - Lowtown Cottage." Bethany was lifted into his arms and was too overcome to say anything else.

 

Their arrival at Lowtown was met with nothing other than amazement. Bethany was set down safely on a couch and immediately attended by Leandra.

"I apologise for the intrusion," the stranger said, "but the lady took a fall, and I saw fit to bring her directly."

"Thank you, thank you so much." Leandra said, sweeping Bethany's damp hair from her flushed face.

"Please, sit," offered Marian, "you must be tired."

"I thank you, but I am also wet, and dirty. I will not trespass further on your hospitality."

Leandra stood. "Please, do tell us your name, sir. We are indebted to you."

"My apologies." He bowed. "I am Sebastian Vael of Starkhaven, though I am staying nearby, at Chantry Court. If I may, I would call tomorrow on your patient, Miss-?"

"Bethany," the lady in question said breathlessly, "Bethany Hawke."

He smiled at her, and then addressed Leandra. "And you are Mrs. Hawke?"

"Yes, and this is my eldest, Marian."

"It is a pleasure to make your acquaintance, though I wish it were under less distressing circumstances." He bowed again. "I take my leave."

 

After he had gone, there was much excitement in the house. Bethany could hardly take breath to repeat his name.

"Sebastian Vael of Starkhaven! Oh, such a fine name!"

"And such a fine gentleman," added Leandra warmly. Anyone who helped her daughters was bound to find her approval, but Mr. Vael had been so charming that she shared Bethany's admiration.

"Oh, did you see how handsome he was? I have never seen-"

A knock at the door interrupted them. It was Sir Tethras, with Bianca at his heels. "Sorry I'm late, I wasn't sure if the rain was going to- What's all this?"

Bethany was still prone on the couch, but she smiled openly at their visitor. "Do not be alarmed, Sir Tethras. I took a fall, but I am well."

Varric's alarm faded. "Well, I'm glad to see nothing dampens your sunshine. What happened?"

"Bethany was-"

"Sebastian Vael of Starkhaven! Do you know him?"

"Vael? What's he doing here?"

"You know him?" Bethany cried.

"Bethany," Marian said, attempting to calm her sister's excitement.

"I do indeed. He visits Chantry Court every year. It is about a mile and a half down the valley."

"What is he like?"

"Well," Varric scratched his chin, "he's a good shot."

Bethany sat up. "But what is he _like_?"

"He's pleasant enough, and charming, but if you met him then you'd know that already."

Bethany sank back down with a sigh, not getting the insight she truly wanted.

"I'll invite him to dinner, shall I?"

Bethany sat up again, and Marian worried at the way she was exerting herself after such a day. Leandra and Bethany were in hearty agreement, and Marian had no objection. She did approve of Sebastian from their brief acquaintance, but was not so ready to be in raptures about him as her sister was.

"Poor Anders," Varric said, shaking his head. He turned to Marian. "Take care, Miss Hawke, that your sister leaves some hearts for you to break."


	5. Romance

Bethany fussed about her appearance with Orana far more than any indisposed person could reasonably be expected to. She reclined prettily after breakfast, a blanket draped over her injured leg. Eventually, her keenness was rewarded with a knock at the door. Bodahn brought the guest in and Bethany readied her beguiling smile.

It was Anders.

"Oh." Bethany said, sinking back before she could mind her manners.

"I heard of your accident and wanted to wish you a swift recovery." Anders offered her the bundle of flowers he was carrying.

Bethany did not move to take them. "I thank you, but... I don't have a... vase?" She seemed confused still, possibly because the bouquet was rather small.

"I'll get one," said Marian, smiling at Anders. It did not matter if he had picked them himself and they were not the prettiest, Bethany could stand to be a little more gracious.

"Oh, they are not decorative. They are to make tea. It should bring some relief, I hope. I have studied their medicinal use."

Marian took the flowers from him, her thoughts turning to Fenris' book. "You are so kind to bring them."

"It's nothing. I am sorry I could not do more."

Marian went to the kitchen, and crossed paths with Leandra, who had just been informed of Anders' arrival and was on her way to greet him. She didn't expect that leaving her sister alone for a few moments could help or hinder them either way; Bethany was too distracted to welcome any attention that Anders might pay her, and Anders would be discouraged by her lack of interest to attempt it anyway. Ever since Bethany had discovered the rumour of their possible match, any admiration he had secured was forgotten so that she could dispel it. That he walked outdoors with a staff was now a sign of his age and infirmity, and his discussion of serious matters apparently meant that he could never share her gaiety. It was an unfortunate situation, since Marian thought that there was much to be gained from his company and conversation that their other neighbours could not provide.

 

Marian had scarcely returned to the room when the sound of a horse announced another visitor to the cottage. Sebastian strode in, his wind-swept hair unkempt from the ride since he carried no hat. The effect on Bethany was immediate; her skin flushed and her gaze would not be taken from him. Sebastian's smile only faltered when he saw Anders with them.

"Mr. Vael," Leandra said, "this is Colonel Brandon."

"Yes. We have met." Sebastian bowed.

Anders regarded him for a moment then gave a curt nod. "Ladies, I take my leave of you. Good day." He stepped past Sebastian and out of the cottage.

"Well," Sebastian said, "I would not be in such a hurry to leave such fine company."

Bethany smiled and gestured the chair next to the couch. "Will you not sit?"

"Marian, call Orana for some tea." Leandra said.

Marian did so, curious as to the acquaintance between the two men, since Anders' greeting had been most reserved, if it was to be called a greeting at all. She respected Anders enough to consider that perhaps his behaviour was informed by something beyond Sebastian's easy charm. When she returned, Sebastian was unwrapping a large handkerchief for Bethany. "I thought these might cheer you. Wild strawberries from the Chantry gardens."

"Oh!" Bethany cried, taking the gift with obvious delight. "They are so beautiful! And they smell so sweet, I- Thank you, sir."

It was a surprise to Marian that Bethany did not declare strawberries to be her favourite fruit in the world.

Sebastian observed the instrument in the corner of the room, and having ascertained that Bethany played, proceeded to describe his enjoyment of music and dance, which Bethany approved of heartly. They mourned her present inability to enjoy either, and turned to the subject of books, pausing only to take their tea. They talked incessantly of poetry without any indication that they were to expect the views of anyone else in the room. Their debate was with each other, and rarely did they not agree; in such cases Sebastian always deferred to Bethany. Marian had taken up her pencils and wished she did have a vase to draw, contented instead to sketch the strawberries clutched in Bethany's lap. Leandra simply enjoyed her daughter's spirited conversation, smiling to herself.

 

Sebastian left with a promise to repeat his visit the next day, and Leandra replaced him at Bethany's side.

"Mama, he is even more handsome than I remembered," Bethany sighed, "and his voice - 'wild strawberries' - I have never heard a prettier phrase."

Leandra laughed. "You certainly got your share of his conversation."

"Yes," Marian said, "I wonder you will have anything left to talk about tomorrow."

"I see, Marian, what you think of me. You think I should have been reserved, and spoken of the weather instead of giving my sincere opinion on the subjects that interest me. But he sees things as I do - how could I have discovered that without being open?"

The frankness that Bethany admired was not always so virtuous, however. As alike as her and Sebastian's opinions were, their acquaintance was still new, and their conversation in the following days saw them finding fault with other people in a way that Marian found impertinent.

"I wonder that he takes no pleasure in anything," Sebastian said of Anders. "Everyone is ready to say that they know him, but nobody actually enjoys speaking to him."

"Yes!" Bethany said, "he is so dull!"

Marian intervened. "Such generalisations are unjust. I greatly enjoy speaking to him; he is well-travelled, well-read, and amiable." While she had not yet found him to be lively, she perceived it to be a matter of circumstance, not character. It pained her to see that Sebastian's poor opinion encouraged Bethany's disdain. They would both benefit from the propriety and caution that they censured in others. While it was not Marian's place to affect Sebastian's character, she would do her duty and attempt to check her sister's behaviour in private, since it was clear Leandra found nothing wanting. Every look she gave Marian when Bethany and Sebastian were together communicated her pleasure at seeing them so attached.

Bethany was well enough to sit at her pianoforte and play, and Sebastian readily agreed to a duet. To his credit, he had an excellent singing voice, and combined with Bethany's it was indeed a harmonious match. At that moment, Marian wished her father was there to hear it, and then Fenris. To have such happy music in their home once more brought Marian an undeniable melancholy, even as she listened with pleasure. It was not her moment to share and yet she felt the absence beside her.

She missed Fenris. He had bridged her grief with something softer, kinder. Underneath his quiet ways there had been a steadiness that she admired, and it was his company she would seek now if he was with them - but there had been no word from him at all since Lothering.

Her drawing of the strawberries was stored under his book; somehow, it was like keeping a secret piece of romance for herself.


	6. Secrets

As soon as Bethany was well enough to resume her attendance at the dinners and parties held at Kirkwall Park, they were also joined by Sebastian, as had been promised by Varric.

"Sebastian!" Bethany would cry, as if she had known him all her life. Even Fenris, who was now a dear friend, had not been so quickly addressed by his first name, even though they had been living in the same house. This was soon observed by others in their company, not just Isabela but other guests at the parties. Bethany and Sebastian's behaviour, being so close in both confidence and proximity, made their attachment obvious to anyone who spent even half an evening in their presence. They danced and talked and had eyes only for each other.

"Lady Hawke," he would call her, kissing her hand, even though she held no such title.

Marian, resigned to the fact that neither her sister nor her mother saw any impropriety in this continued display, could only reflect on Bethany's happiness in comparison to her own. Companionship and conversation could be found among any of their group, but no one that could inspire her to the open and equal regard she enjoyed with Fenris. She did not seek extravagant flattery to equal Sebastian Vael's. Plenty of conversation was to be had with Isabela and Varric, and while she was now comfortable with their boisterous nature, it still lacked for her the intimacy that she might consider a true friendship. Elegant had the right kind of reserve and discretion, but Marian still felt it would be some time before their polite conversation could give way to any kind of confidence.

Anders was closest to what she sought. While she would not share matters of her own heart with him, she respected him in every other way.

"I was glad to see another drawing of yours on the wall last time I visited."

"The one of the cottage? You have observed well."

"As difficult as your change in circumstance was, I hope it is a sign that you now feel comfortably at home there."

It was true. Marian thought of Lothering less and less. "It is indeed home. Starting again is, as you say, difficult." She smiled at him. "But wherever friends can be found, they lessen the pain."

"Yes," he sighed, adding, "sometimes."

Anders was a man with experience. It was not unexpected that he might have suffered some disappointment during his life. "You are troubled?"

He looked down briefly before returning his attention to the room. "Your sister- I am glad she does not suffer much."

Marian looked over to where she was dancing. "For the moment. She has found certain new friendships to be... particularly enthralling. But she is young. The lessons of time will improve her."

"I cannot wish that on her as you do. Forgive me. She reminds me of someone I once knew. Her youthful ignorance was preferable to-" Anders frowned, and said no more.

Marian's imagination may not have been as romantic as Bethany's, but it was still able to suggest that the person he spoke of might have been a previous attachment. Perhaps a disappointment he had yet to fully recover from. There was no delicate way to press the matter further, however.

 

Orana was still attending to Leandra for their dinner at Kirkwall Park that night, so Marian did Bethany's hair. She brushed the long dark locks, which had a natural curl, unlike Marian's own. As she pinned up the different sections, she added the small wildflowers that Bethany had collected in a handkerchief. When she had picked enough from the fabric, Marian realised that the embroidered initials were _S. V._

"Bethany! Why have you not returned this?"

"Return it? Whyever would I do that?"

"It was not a gift, as you well know. You should not keep it as a favour."

Bethany looked at her in the mirror. "How can I do it now after so long?"

"Very easily," Marian said, striving for gentleness in her tone. "You say that it was folded with the other linens, and was not noticed until now."

"It still smells of strawberries."

Marian felt a wistful pang at that. "Keep still."

Bethany remained silent for a few moments. "Very well. I will return it. To please you."

 

Marian felt a small sense of pride when Bethany's hair was admired before dinner.

"Marian," Bethany whispered to her, "come to the library with me, so I may do as we discussed."

Of course, Marian waited outside, and was only slightly alarmed that she had unwittingly enabled a secret meeting to take place. Mercifully, despite the hushed laughter behind the door, it was over quickly. Sebastian emerged, indeed clutching his returned property, and gave Marian a charming smile as he passed. Bethany took her sister's arm as they walked back to rejoin the others.

"Now _that_ is a flush of love if I ever saw one," said Isabela, taking her place at the dining table opposite Bethany. "I'm surprised we haven't seen that from the other Miss Hawke yet. She must have left her favourite behind, I am sure of it."

Marian stared at her sister imploringly, as if will alone could prevent her from making a reply. Mercifully, Bethany understood her, but Isabela took their exchange of looks as confirmation she had the truth of it.

"Pray, what is his name?"

"You will be disappointed," Leandra said. "But to spare my daughter's blushes, I can tell you we know a fine gentleman whose name begins with F."

To spare them! What an error in judgement! To hear such a declaration from her mother, that was as much embarrassment as any teasing she might endure.

"Mr. F!" Isabela exclaimed gleefully to Varric.

Bethany looked at Marian in sympathy, and her attention was quickly claimed by Anders, who attempted to change the subject. "Have you played any new pieces recently?"

The subject of music was taken up with equal enthusiasm by Elegant, who implored Bethany to delight them all at the pianoforte after dinner. Sebastian was invited to sing as well, and Marian was thankful to have some friends who wished to spare her discomfort.

Bethany's animated conversation caught her gaze, and something about the way her hair moved seemed amiss. Marian studied it until a turn of her sister's head revealed an odd curl that sat higher than the rest. She would not have noticed such a thing but she had styled it herself. The only cause she could think of was that it had been cut; her mind went to the closed door of the library, and the handkerchief that Sebastian had carried out.

It must have contained a lock of Bethany's hair.

Marian decided then that the courtship was not some wild, foolish fancy between the two, but an engagement confirmed by their secret gestures of commitment. Their behaviour, while not yet proper without a public announcement, was at least understandable in that light.

 

"Have you heard of Vigil's Keep, Miss Bethany?" Anders said to her, after the evening's music was done, and she had not yet claimed a seat by Sebastian.

"No, not at all."

"It is the estate of my good friend Nathaniel Howe. He is often abroad at this time of year, but his gardens have such an abundance of fruit that he invites me to take a party to make the most of it. Would such an outing be pleasing to you?"

"What number will form this party?"

"All that are in this room, if they will join the picnic. I will invite them directly."

Bethany looked at Sebastian, which seemed to make up her mind. "I would be happy to see more of the country."

Anders followed her gaze. "Then let us hope for fine weather tomorrow." He turned and communicated his plan to the others, and it was quickly agreed upon that they would all set off from Kirkwall Park the next morning.

 

A pretty row of open carriages waited for the Tethras family and their guests, and the servants loaded the last of the supplies that would be required for their day out. Some bright wisps of cloud dotted the sky, nothing that could prompt a delay to their departure. The only person missing was Leandra, who had stayed home with a cold.

Before anyone had decided who was to go where, Sebastian helped Bethany up into his own carriage.

At that moment, a messenger on horseback raced up to the house, hurriedly asking for Colonel Brandon.

"Here," Anders said, making his way through the party. He tipped the messenger and opened the letter at once.

"Come on, Blondie," Varric said affectionately, "let's get on the road."

"No. I cannot. I regret that... I have to postpone our outing."

"What?" exclaimed Isabela. "But we're all ready to go."

Anders called for his horse. "I must leave immediately."

"Surely it can wait until this afternoon. We can't visit the Keep without you-"

"I _must_ go," he said, taking the reins from his servant. "Forgive me." He set off at a gallop before anyone could detain him.

The whole party stood there in shock.

"Ach, I bet he wrote that letter himself," said Sebastian. "Let us not waste the day, then!" He urged the horses forward and set off with Bethany's cry of delight beside him.

"Well, we won't see them all day either," said Varric.

"Don't worry about them," said Isabela, taking Marian's hand, "but Brandon! It's shocking. I can only think it must be about Miss Charade."

"Who is Miss Charade?"

"Well," Isabela said, leaning in, "I have never been able to get much out of him on the matter, but she is his ward, and I suspect," her voice dropped into a whisper, "particularly with his behaviour today, I suspect that she is his daughter."


	7. Comfort

Apart from the events of the morning, and the speculation that followed, a pleasant day was had, although nothing was seen of the young couple until after they had all reconvened at Kirkwall Park.

"So," Isabela said, arching her eyebrow at Bethany as she sat down at the dinner table, "how did you like your house?"

Bethany said nothing, picking up her spoon as soon as her soup was served. Her windswept hair told one story, but the flush on her cheeks could have been from another.

Marian inclined herself toward Isabela in inquiry, since Bethany did not meet her eyes.

Isabela grinned and whispered to her. "Chantry Court. A maid told me."

Marian sat back. How could Sebastian have taken her there, alone? His aunt, Mrs. Elthina Smith, was the lady of the house, and they had never been introduced. To do so in such circumstances was unthinkable, but so was a visit undertaken in secret while the lady was out. Given that their engagement was not yet official, the first could not have taken place without a scandal, so it must have been the latter.

 

The urgent business that had taken Anders away was not concluded during the following week. Isabela had little information about Miss Charade beyond her being a young lady in Anders' care. The rest was her own guess of the particulars and Marian tried to keep them separate from the truth, especially as it was not even certain that the letter had anything to do with her. As the days passed, Marian wished for the subject to be dropped. They were to dine at Kirkwall again the following day, and even Bethany and Sebastian's courtship was less tiresome than inflicting more potential misfortunes on Anders when nothing further could be known or done.

Leandra and Marian had discussed a route they could walk to pass the afternoon before the carriage came. Bethany wanted to stay behind 'to enjoy the sunshine in the gardens', as Sebastian had been calling every day but had not yet made an appearance. As they debated whether she should stay behind, the now familiar sound of a horse interrupted them.

Sebastian was breathless and blunt. "May I speak to Miss Bethany in private?" he asked Leandra.

"Of course," she said, clutching Marian's hand. "We are just setting off for a walk, as you see. We will circle the gardens first."

Marian looked back to see Bethany's beaming smile as she invited Sebastian inside.

 

Lowtown was a small cottage, and its grounds made for a brief tour, no matter how slowly Leandra tried to take it. They were back at the door within minutes and could do nothing but enter.

Bethany rushed past them up and up the stairs, crying.

Leandra turned to Sebastian, who was downcast with some distress. "What happened?"

"My stay at Chantry Court is over. My aunt Elthina sends me away to Hightown immediately."

"But you are to return? To-"

"I will have no reason to return now."

"No reason!" Leandra exclaimed.

"I bade my farewell to Miss Bethany and I must do so to you now." He bowed and left them without a further word.

Leandra was too shocked to stop him or attempt any formality. Marian thought only of her sister, and her disappointment. She turned to go to her, but Leandra caught her wrist.

"Marian," her voice wavered, "that lady must have found out about their attachment and made her disapproval known in the cruelest way possible. Oh, my poor, sweet Bethany!"

A few moments of reflection told Marian that this could have been her fate, had she entered into a reckless romance with Fenris for all the world to see. He was just as bound by the wishes of his relatives as Sebastian was. If it was true, then perhaps a servant told Elthina about Bethany's day with Sebastian at Chantry Court, just as a maid had told Isabela. Perhaps that had tarnished her opinion before she knew anything else about her.

 

All attempts to comfort Bethany were met with silence and further tears. Leandra was also overcome with disappointment for part of the evening and Marian sat in the drawing room alone, her heart heavy.

It was a difficult few days, and they excused Bethany from more than one gathering among their friends. Sebastian's going away was not long a secret, and Bethany's return to their party only prompted more conversation about the matter. Their condolences did not reach her; they soon learned that the best way to preserve her composure was not to acknowledge the subject at all.

"Here, Sunshine," Varric said. "I got you some new music."

To her credit, Bethany muttered a quiet 'thank you' before having to leave the room.

 

It was several days before Bethany played for them, and it took that much time for Marian to persuade her to walk together as they used to. Marian understood the solitude necessary to ponder one's feelings but even her own were sorry without the companionship of her sister.

She took Bethany's hand and they walked in silence for a while. Marian had deliberately chosen a direction that would reduce the risk of painful memories of association. There were clouds overhead, and the ground was dry. Whether it was deliberate, or simply by virtue of being joined, they did not stray far from the paths. On reaching the top of a hill, they stopped as one to look out and breathe the fine air. Marian kept her hold on Bethany's hand secure but relaxed. It was not restraint but comfort.

Bethany said nothing, but after a while moved closer and laid her head on Marian's shoulder. Marian brought her free hand around to embrace her sister. This was enough.

The sun came out and Marian started humming the only fragment of Bethany's new music that she could remember. Bethany joined in softly, correcting her and reminding her of the next part as they descended the slope. Marian did not need to ask what Bethany thought of the new pieces. There were no words exchanged at all and yet Marian felt closer to Bethany than she had done for a long time.

 

As they turned onto a lane, a movement among the trees in the distance suggested the approach of a man on horseback.

Bethany gasped, gripping Marian's hand tightly. "It's him. Oh, Marian, it's him." Her voice was coarse from disuse and emotion, and she could not be persuaded to walk on back towards the cottage.

A thought suddenly struck Marian, that it could be Anders returning from his business away.

As the figure came into clear view, however, the world seemed to still around her.

It was Fenris.

"Fenris!" Bethany cried, and it could not have been anyone else other than Sebastian to encourage the joy in her greeting.

He dismounted and Bethany ran towards him, offering her hand. He took it and smiled at her before looking at Marian, who walked and did the same.

Fenris. Fenris was there.

He took Marian's hand and bowed his head to her. "I am glad to see you, Miss Hawke."

"And I you," Marian said softly.

"Where have you been all this time?" Bethany asked.

His gaze lingered on Marian's for a moment, but his touch on her hand ended, leaving behind his warmth. "I apologise for not coming sooner. But I am here."


	8. Generosity

Marian's heart seemed locked into a strong, steady beat that reminded her of the physical effect of Fenris' presence. It was better inside. Her hands did not shake for long, and she resolved only to be pleasant as they walked towards the cottage, Bethany's recent experience making her determined to betray nothing.

"Do you come directly from Hightown?" she asked.

"No, I have been two weeks visiting friends in West Hill."

"So near!" Bethany cried, looking between him and Marian earnestly.

Marian knew her meaning because she felt it also. West Hill was a large establishment only a few hours away from Kirkwall. For Fenris to be in the area and not visit until now - but she knew he must have his reasons. He could not be expected to travel back and forth on a whim when a few more days would see him conclude his business. "I do not know it well, but I believe we passed it on our journey here from Lothering."

"Yes, I studied there for four years, under the care of Mr. Donnic Hendyr. He and his wife Aveline, and other friends-" He stopped. "Well, that was the reason for my visit."

Bethany relieved Marian of finding a way to follow the abrupt conclusion of the subject. "Lothering, though. How was it when you left?"

The question raised in Marian memories of its gardens, walking with Fenris. Now he was at her side, he was not how she remembered. It was their plight to be melancholy, yet Fenris was even quieter as he answered, "the leaves were falling."

Bethany sighed, although if it was wistful in rememberance or disappointed at his answer, Marian did not know.

"The family are well. That is all I can say."

They reached the house and Leandra was delighted to see Fenris finally arrive, and received him with such warmth that even his shyness was overcome and he smiled at them all as he was made to feel at home. Leandra invited him to stay at least a week, and Fenris accepted the offer. The pulse that called at Marian's attention quickened at the thought of him staying under the same roof. It was a much smaller house than Lothering Park. A guest room was a guest room and yet he would be so much nearer, with fewer walls to separate them. Marian noticed everything now: the places where the paint had flaked in the house, the wayward pencil line on one of the drawings on the wall, the clock that had slowed a minute from the others. So long it had been that she wanted him here, that she had forgotten everything she could say to him. She showed no passion in her words and looks, and received none in return. She noted, however, her mother and sister's pointed attention, and said everything correct for their sake as much as her own.

 

Bodahn had Fenris' horse stabled at the village, since the cottage had no means to do so. A marked frown was between Fenris' eyebrows. "It must be inconvenient for you."

"Not at all," Marian said, "since we have no horses of our own, and our visitors never stay long."

Bethany's teacup clattered abruptly onto her saucer.

"I see," Fenris said, though it had not seemed to comfort his unease.

Leandra leaned forward. "We spend a lot of time in Sir Tethras' society at Kirkwall Park. You will meet him by and by, if you are with us."

Bethany put her unfinished tea down on the table. "Though perhaps we can keep to our own society for a while."

"Bethany," Marian said, wishing to address the cause of her comment but unable to reveal anything about Sebastian in front of Fenris, "the Tethras family is respectable and agreeable, surely you can have no objection to Fen- to Fenris being an addition to the party." Her face flushed as her voice halted on his name, for a moment unsure if she was being too familiar, even though they had been on first name terms at the end of their time at Lothering.

Leandra smiled at her and Bethany looked at her keenly. Marian did not want to kindle their hope, or her own. When she next glanced at Fenris he was fiddling with a ring on his finger, staring at the floor. In that moment alone she was glad of his distracted mood; he might not have noticed her embarrassment.

"It seems duty has sent you to many places these past few months. Your mother is well?"

Fenris started at the question. "Yes. Thank you."

"How goes her plan to make you distinguished?" Bethany asked in a casual way that only familiarity could forgive.

Fenris chuckled, rueful. "Not well, I'm afraid. I hope she is resigned to it; I know that my happiness will not depend on greatness."

"Well said," cried Bethany warmly. "If you are honest and true to yourself, not even duty should make you choose status and wealth over your heart."

She was thinking of Sebastian, Marian realised, comparing their predicaments. So she chose her words to reflect only on their own situation. "A household cannot run on ideals alone. Some wealth, at least, may prevent _un_ happiness."

While Leandra and Bethany protested at the lack of romance in her statement, she had not so quickly forgotten their disappointment and long weeks of adjustment on arriving at Lowtown. If it had not been for the Tethras' generosity, theirs would have been a desperate and lonely situation indeed.

 

Varric and Elegant readily extended their usual invitations to include Fenris, and Isabela was delighted to find a handsome gentleman who bore the name _Mr. F_.

"Double F," she remarked in a whisper to Marian as she passed.

Marian had already expected the teasing and was composed throughout the evening, finding at least that curiosity and new acquaintance had lifted Fenris' spirits somewhat.

After dinner, Marian went to serve herself some wine, leaving the others to their conversation. She felt the barest touch on her arm.

Fenris was beside her. "I would not see you unhappy, Miss Hawke." He said in his quiet voice.

It seemed to Marian that she had always known this, and yet it was not in his power to alter her happiness either way. She was glad that he cared. "Nor I you."

He left her as soon as he had poured his wine, and Marian turned to see Bethany shaking her head in astonishment.

 

It was Elegant who Marian found a seat next to, an arrangement which suited her well.

"I think Mr. Ferrars is a wonderful young man. And refreshing company. I do not anticipate our next guests will be as serene."

"Oh? You are expecting more visitors?"

"Yes. The de Launcet girls, daughters of an old acquaintance of mine and your mother's. Varric finds them highly amusing. They are about your age, and as they are staying not far from here, the introduction is inevitable."

Bethany had moved across the room and was speaking to Fenris, and Marian's concentration fought against her will to catch the words.

"But you are so reserved!" Bethany said.

Fenris looked surprised. "I am? Miss Bethany, I apologise. I shall endeavour to exist with less offence."

Bethany smiled at him and Marian forced her attention back onto Elegant. "Has there been no word from Anders at all?"

"None. I think he remains in Hightown, if that is indeed where his letter took him." Elegant turned her head so her words would not be perceived by the rest of the party, but she was not as vulgar as to whisper. "It is where many gentlemen are forced on business, as we know."

 

Marian could not be sorry that Bethany had Fenris to distract her, as exasperating as she found his behaviour. She kept trying to leave Marian and Fenris alone, as she had done at Lothering, yet Fenris did not always take the opportunity.

Despite moments of despondency, Bethany was much stronger than she had been after Sebastian's departure. He was not often talked of, but when his name was mentioned over dinner another evening, she only paused for a moment before resuming her meal.

Fenris, who had been seated near Marian every evening after the first, made an enquiry about the gentleman, whose name he had not heard before.

Marian kept her voice as low as possible. "Mr. Vael was lately in the neighbourhood, visiting his aunt at Chantry Court. She has sent him away to town again."

The mention of the place did not escape Bethany, who lowered her cutlery with a sigh.

Fenris observed in comprehension. "Ah."

 

The days passed quickly. If at the beginning of the week, Marian had thought any affection on his side impossible, by the end of it she had as much proof of his regard as in all the time at Lothering. When he looked at her, when he spoke to her, in those last few days, it filled the hope that had been emptied by his absence.

No longer did Bethany need to fill the silence or contrive a way to leave them alone. On the last day, they walked the cottage gardens while Bethany's music drifted through the open window, and Leandra and Orana sewed on the doorstep, making the most of the fine day.

"I am sorry you were not able to meet Colonel Brandon. If you should return..." Marian looked across at Fenris' profile. "You are always welcome here."

A soft smile graced his face. "I know. Your kindness has been more than I deserve."

"Why more?" Marian paused her steps.

Fenris turned to her, but his head was bowed.

"Fenris, you may be expected to prove yourself to the world, but you don't have to prove yourself to me."

The reflections in his eyes dappled under the shade.

"Was it duty that brought you here?"

"No. But it is duty that sends me away. I would not... I would not depart so soon otherwise."

Marian could not tell him that they were standing in her favourite row, that the plants around their feet were ones in the prettiest pages of his book.


	9. Invitation

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I have amended Isabela's connection to the Tethras family to something that makes a ton more sense. She is not just a rich widow, but Bartrand's widow (she was married off to him fairly young). I will edit the preceding chapters where appropriate.
> 
> I am also working on a family tree which spans all the families connected to the Hawke sisters (including by marriage), which I intend to post at the end of the next chapter.

Bodahn had gone into the village to get Fenris' horse, but the hooves that approached did not match the expected sound. Instead, the Tethras' carriage approached, with another following behind. Elegant descended first, which pleased Marian greatly, as she did not always accompany her husband to call on them at the cottage. Varric greeted them all in readiness but waited for the rest of the party. Isabela emerged from the second carriage, holding the hand of an unknown lady, whose slight frame showed an obvious pregnancy, while a gentleman was the last to appear. A large dog followed at his heels.

Elegant brought the two strangers forward. "May I present my nephew, Mr. Carver Amell, and his wife, Merrill." She introduced the Hawkes in turn, and also Fenris. "We thought you would be quite gone by now, Mr. Ferrars."

"I am going directly," he said, "I expect my horse at any moment."

Leandra delayed any further enquiries. "It is a pleasure to meet any relation of ours. Will you come in?" The number of people gathered outside the cottage would test the limits of comfortable hospitality, but Mrs. Amell's condition made the offer a necessity.

Mr. Amell excused himself from entering and remained outside with the dog, as did Fenris, who resisted Varric's entreaties to extend his stay.

The duty of giving up her last precious moments with Fenris to attend to her new visitors was painful to Marian, and she could only observe him from where she sat in the room. She had already decided to quit the room once Bodahn returned, if only for a moment, in order to bid Fenris farewell.

 

"We just had to bring them here," said Isabela, sitting next to Mrs. Amell and clutching her hand again, which was accepted with apparent pleasure. "I told Merrill all about you in my last letter, though she must have had it from Elegant too."

"I had no idea of them coming," said Elegant, "but I am very glad they did, for they are only passing through and I wouldn't want to miss them."

"I am to be confined soon, as you see," said Merrill cheerfully, placing a hand on her burden. She laughed. "Oh, what a thing to say first! But it's hard to think of anything else now. You can probably see for yourself without my babbling about it." Her gaze went to the window. "I do wish Carver had come in. But he dotes on that dog. He bought him for me, you know, as a puppy. I wanted to call him Griffon, but apparently that is the name of another breed. So we called him Griff, which is as good a name as any. And they can't bear to be separated. He might as well have bought him for himself."

Varric chuckled when she paused. "Maybe he did. I should check on them; it's looking dangerously broody outside. I'll leave you to get better acquainted with the ladies." He bowed and left them to join the other gentlemen outside.

Marian found Merrill's chatty enthusiasm to be well suited to the company of Varric and Isabela, who clearly adored her. "You are not staying long in Kirkwall, then?"

"No," she said with a sigh, "one last stay in town and then back home to Sundermount."

Isabela gasped at a sudden idea. "Hightown! Let us join you there." She addressed the Hawke sisters. "You can stay with me, and for as long as you like."

Any reasoning for and against the trip stalled in Marian's mind at Bodahn's arrival, and she stood with less urgency than she felt. "Forgive me." She went outside and Griff nosed curiously in her direction.

Fenris smiled at her, that soft smile that stirred such tenderness in her. "Farewell, Miss Hawke."

She wished, rather than perceived, his melancholy to have the same cause as her own. Until any hint or declaration was made, she would continue as before. "I hope we shall meet again soon. Perhaps elsewhere." She could not say more, without either of them having fixed plans towards Hightown, but neither did she want him to only think of her company as confined to a visit to the cottage. "But you are always welcome here."

"It has been a happy time for me. If you would convey my best wishes to your family..."

Marian nodded. "Of course."

"I must go," he said, and mounted his horse. He nodded at the gentlemen. "Mr. Amell. Sir Tethras." Then he gave Marian one last look before he rode off.

 

Varric clapped Carver on his broad shoulder, despite their height difference. "You'd like him, Junior. If only we had a chance to see him more often." He winked at Marian.

Marian was spared any mortification by Carver's lack of knowledge on the matter and failure to pry further into Varric's meaning. In fact, he said little, allowing his hound to take a share of the attention. Marian was not so fortunate on entering the house, however.

"Don't worry, Miss Hawke," said Isabela, "you'll see him again soon enough. We've arranged everything. And it suits Miss Bethany too."

Bethany was smiling, a marked change given her usual reluctance in this kind of company. "Mama has already agreed to it. We're going to Hightown."

"I won't hear a word against it," Leandra said, although she had not yet heard any of Marian's thoughts on the matter.

"And then you can visit us in Sundermount once the baby is born." Merrill looked out again and then beckoned eagerly as she caught her husband's eye. He was obliged to enter. "My love, we are going to have such good company for the next few months."

"Mother!" Marian said, more than a little surprised. "Can you spare us for that long?"

"Come now, Marian. It is not worth going unless you can make the most of it."

"But can we afford-"

"Nonsense!" cried Isabela. "As my dear guests you will want for nothing."

Merrill placed her hand on Carver's. "And we will do no less. Oh, Miss Bethany, do you know we can almost see to Starkhaven from the mount."

Carver cleared his throat. "I wouldn't promise that."

"On a fine day! Surely we must be able to!"

For Merrill to have mentioned it so deliberately meant that she had already been informed of the significance of Sebastian's name to those present. It was the same reason that Bethany was so readily agreeing to spend so much of her time with a new acquaintance. It was seen as the most natural thing in the world that she be taken into town and benefit from the chance of a meeting, just as it was hinted that Marian would.

"It is likely that your brother will be there," Leandra said, "if he has finished settling in at Lothering."

For Marian, whatever meetings were in store, she was conscious of the attraction of a change in society and surroundings, at so little expense to herself. She agreed on the advantages of the idea but could not be persuaded to accept a direct invitation until the particulars of the journey were known. Elegant gently reminded them all that they were yet to receive the de Launcets at Kirkwall Park.

"We should go," said Carver, helping Merrill to stand. He bowed at them and made no other comment while Merrill said farewell to them all.

Isabela was eager to go with them. It interested Marian to see her attentions to someone outside their usual circle. It was clear they were close friends, even though the connection was on Elegant's part. Carver's relationship to the others in the group was more of a mystery. His reserved behaviour was at odds with theirs, and his remaining outside for most of their stay was almost ungraceful, but Marian considered it less of a slight and perhaps the effect of some shyness on his part.

 

Following the departure of the Amells, the theme of absence entered many of their conversations. Isabela missed them, and was sorry they could stay longer. Varric said it was a shame Anders had not been there to see them. In the privacy of the cottage, Leandra chose to mention Fenris more than once. Marian could not let her words incite her to a display of sorrow and longing. It was enough to contemplate his words and behaviour for herself, and by neither seeking nor avoiding the mention of him, she managed to reveal as little as possible of her own feelings. Bethany, who had long not spoken of Sebastian, readily scattered his name once again.

Elegant sat with the Hawke sisters one evening and prepared them for the presence of the de Launcet girls. "They might be similar to you in age, but I do not know them well enough to say much more. I can only tell you something which your mother might not. They are the daughters of the Comte de Launcet. Our families have been old friends for generations, and your mother was once betrothed to him."

Bethany and Marian's surprise was increased by the fact they had never heard the name before.

"Leandra had no intention of marrying him, I think. I never saw her struggle with herself when she formed an attachment with your father. The pain was all on your grandparents on account of his being a widower, one who already had an heir. With their fortune already entailed away to my brother - Carver's father - they knew her children could not inherit much, even if she had sons." She paused and smiled. "That is why I was so glad to be of service to you."

"And we are greatly indebted to you," Marian said, still recovering from the shock.

"But what of the de Launcets?" asked Bethany. "Were they very disappointed?"

"Only at first. The Comte eventually married and had children. But his eldest son is throwing the family name into disrepute."

"How so?"

"Are you talking about the de Launcets?" said Varric, joining them.

Bethany's curiosity was piqued. "Yes, the son, what did he do?"

"Oh, the future Comte." Varric laughed. "What didn't he do. He rebelled against his sheltered life, abandoning his studies and taking to gambling and womanising. Or at least, trying to. He's not very good at it, so I hear."

"My dear!" cried Elegant. She would not have related the particulars as such.

"All I meant is that for every drunken night he spends, his family bear the cost of trying to keep him from being locked up, or worse. And despite being a Comte... let's just say it's more than they can afford. The title is all they have."

It was a shocking scandal. "His sisters are to be pitied, then." Marian said, recalling that they might meet them that very evening.

Elegant assented. "They are no doubt trying to distance themselves from this, and without a public denouncement, it is only hushed up rumours. It would be in their interest to secure an advantageous match as soon as possible."

Isabela had been occupied with all the preparations for her impending journey and had only just joined them. "Who is going to be matched?"

Elegant opened her mouth to respond but a servant entered to announce the arrival of Miss Babette and Fifi de Launcet.


	10. Consequence

"Well, now!" Varric said. "Come in, come in. Do sit down." He sat the de Launcet girls near the Hawke sisters and called for some refreshment for them. After the usual pleasantries towards the lady of the house, the guests turned to the ladies closest to their age.

Marian was the closest to them and was thus the main victim of their excessive lavender perfuming. On one lady such an overapplication was barely tolerable but on two at once it was quite cloying to endure. It set the tone for their meeting where, as the eldest Hawke, she was the target for most of their inquiries.

"How do you like the country, Miss Hawke?" said Fifi, the youngest. "I understand you are recently arrived from Ferelden."

"Not so recently now, but yes. I am learning to love it as I did my previous home."

"I hear Lothering is a very fine estate."

It surprised Marian that she should know anything about Lothering, but she was still getting used to the idea that their families were acquainted. Such information was not out of the common way. Countless livings were called fine, just as countless ladies were called pretty. "It is beautiful."

"What about the society," asked the eldest Miss de Launcet, "any nice beaux?"

Fifi rolled her eyes at her sister. "Babette looks for beaux wherever she goes."

"I'm not sure I completely-" Marian started.

"Oh, they're not hard to find. But getting yourself nice ones, that's the thing. They've got to be smart and civil, else their attention's not worth having. Any rogue can tip his hat to you but that don't make him a gentleman."

Marian glanced at Bethany, who had said nothing since the introductions. Isabela gave her an amused smile from her seat.

"I see." Marian struggled to find what to say next. "Are you bound for Hightown at all soon?"

"Why yes," cried Fifi, "I have been looking forward to it these past few months."

"Ooh, we do enjoy Hightown, Miss Hawke, you can imagine. What about you, Miss Bethany?"

Bethany, who had concealed none of her eagerness to go from her family and friends, replied with the barest of interest. "Yes."

Babette continued. "Of course! We love to see the latest fashion, though we are not slaves to it, I assure you."

 

Dinner gave Marian some relief, and a change of seating. As it was, only Fifi sat near her while Babette was left for Varric and Isabela to entertain. It was a cunning move on Elegant's part; she knew their dispositions would enjoy an evening with such a talkative character. On her own, the younger de Launcet was more sedate, and Marian found more wit in her conversation than had been immediately apparent. Bethany was shielded from the rest by Elegant, and her mood improved enough to avoid drawing anyone's concern.

"Do you know your sister in law's mother?" Fifi asked.

"Mrs Ferrars?" Marian said the name as quietly as possible, to avoid drawing attention to her mention of it.

Fifi nodded.

"Not at all. That is to say, I have never met her." For the de Launcets to have a knowledge of the Amell connections was not in itself strange, but for Fifi to select such a person for her first inquiry made Marian think there was some reason for her interest.

"Oh. Do you know what she is like?"

"I am sorry, Miss Fifi, I do not." She had only heard what Fenris said, and could not relate any of that to a stranger. "Your question is quite specific."

Fifi looked around and dropped her voice. "I fear you might think me impertinent. But I cannot share the reason here. If you would accompany me on a walk tomorrow, I shall gladly tell you."

With bait like that, Marian could do nothing but agree.

 

Leandra showed no interest in their meeting with the de Launcets. She merely urged them to retire at the late hour.

Marian helped take Bethany's hair down. "I hope you're not biased by what you heard of them. You could have paid them more attention."

"And for what? There was no conversation for me there. We won't see them again once they're gone, I'm sure."

"All the more reason to be polite. We can't all let our moods decide how we act in society."

Bethany sighed. "You know it pains me to do anything but what I truly feel. I cannot believe you feel strongly enough about this to want me to try."

Marian patted Bethany's unfurled hair. "No, I suppose you're right. On this occasion. They are of little consequence." Although she could not quite forget their potential connection to the Ferrars family. Fenris had a brother. Who knew what acquaintances he had? Perhaps he was one of the beaux the sisters had been so keen on.

 

Bolstered by the presence of Isabela and Elegant, Bethany played the pianoforte, leaving Marian to take the promised walk. Fifi began the conversation by talking of the weather, and admiring Kirkwall's surroundings. Marian would have joined in the latter if it was not for the reason they were outside.

"You had a wish to know about Mrs Ferrars?"

"Yes." Fifi looked about them once more, looking fearful of being overheard. "I thought - as you were a relation... you see, Miss Hawke, I may one day be connected with that family, and therefore, to yours."

Marian recalled her thought from the previous night. She could only assume she had been correct. "Are you acquainted then with Mrs Ferrars' youngest son?"

"Zevran? No, I've never seen him in my life. I speak of _Fenris_ Ferrars. He stayed with you at Lothering for a time."

Marian's stride did not stop, but her words did. That Fenris might know the de Launcets had not even entered her mind. That one of them should aspire to a connection with him - that she could speak of it at all - meant it had to be a certainty in her mind. Even though it seemed impossible. Fenris, attached.

"You do remember him?"

Marian was startled into replying. "Yes, of course. But..."

"We are engaged."

Now it made sense. Except it made no sense at all. She knew Fenris' character well enough; agreeable and handsome as Fifi was, she could not fathom there being anything that would attach him to her. Their tastes and temperaments were so different. Or perhaps she was merely comparing herself. "You have not made it public though?" Marian said, referring to Fifi's furtive looks whenever she had broached the subject.

"No. It has been a secret these four years."

"Four years!" Marian said, before resolving to collect herself. Four years Fenris had been attached. Four years ago, Garrett had proposed to Varania, and Marian didn't even know who Fenris was. Yet this young lady already had an understanding with him. And they were unmarried still, because- "Because of Mrs Ferrars."

"That's right. It has been so hard on Fenris, knowing he might disinherit if she disapproves of me."

Now Marian did stop. She had lost all sense of where she was going. She looked at Fifi's for a sign this was a trick or lie, but the particulars were too familiar to Marian. She had thought that was the reason for Fenris' reluctance towards her, and now she had the harsher blow of it being for someone else. The first, she could have overcome. With time and patience, their mutual regard could have withstood any change in his circumstances. The second had no cure. If his melancholy was because he was with someone else, then her dreams could never happen.

"Miss Hawke... I have not offended you, have I? I fear I have. You look so shocked."

"Forgive me. I am surprised, but more at you knowing him at all than your predicament."

"Oh, we met in West Hill. We both studied there under the Hendyrs. I don't suppose he happened to mention them?"

Marian could not recall anything of the sort at first, but then she did have a faint memory of Fenris speaking of his education.

"It's true we have not seen each other as often as I should like since then, but he has a lock of my hair set in a ring he wears. If anyone asks, he says it is his sister's!" Fifi eyed her intently. "And I carry his portrait with me."

She produced a small miniature painting, and Marian could not doubt any more. It was the face she recalled so fondly, there captured for another. If only she had a portrait like that, a secret engagement to cherish. But she had no claim to him any more.

It was clear she never had.

* * *

[The Hawke/Amell family tree](https://41.media.tumblr.com/eff815ce04ab352a00b623b97dd0efa8/tumblr_ntyidgbHFL1qcnv2xo1_1280.png)


	11. Disappointment

Marian's heart had not sunk so low since she'd packed her things to leave Lothering. During that painful time, Fenris had brought her joy; now the thought of him could not. She continued her walk long after Fifi had returned to the house. It had been a struggle enough to conceal her feelings from her; now they needed to be felt in all their violence. She wept, taking a solitary path among the high-walled gardens. The hurt would be tamed. She would need the self-control to face her beloved mother and sister. Marian thought of them reacting to the information, and the blame and censure they would show towards Fenris on her behalf was too great a risk to her fragile heart. They would weep as she did and Marian would find no consolation.

The secret would stay with her. Fifi's confidence would be honoured, and Marian would find resolve in being its guardian. When she had spent the tears for herself, she thought of Fenris, finding the kindness towards him return even then.

Four years younger, he had made a promise to his first love. Marian could not believe that the same feeling endured still; Fifi's pretty charm would have suited her innocence but the years had not given her the same maturity that Fenris displayed. Marian forgave him. If Fenris could see the inequality between them, yet still honoured his engagement, it was to be admired, even though it caused Marian pain. If Fenris wished to spare Fifi that betrayal, Marian could understand. She wiped her face and brushed the pollen from her dress. Perhaps Fifi would improve in time. Marian walked back to the house, determined not to show that she had been wounded.

 

There was rowdy delight during much of the evening on the subject of Hightown.

"We will all be there at the same time. Such company!" Babette said.

Isabela leaned towards Marian. "I think I'll spare Merrill that pleasure on account of her delicate condition."

While Marian acknowledged her wit, if anyone was able to enjoy the de Launcet's company with enthusiasm, surely it was Mrs. Amell. However, her husband did not seem to be the type to revel in the follies of society. She was looking forward to seeing him again. "What sort of house is Sundermount?"

"It's a house. A house on a hill. What do you want me to say?"

Marian could not be angry at her manner. She smiled. "You are more interested in its inhabitants."

Isabela smiled back, her eyes showing the affection she felt for that family. "I'm glad you see things my way. Unless a house overlooks the sea, it holds no interest for me."

"But your own estate is inland, is it not?"

Isabela sighed. "Yes. The Tethras line is very... well rooted."

"It seems impertinent to ask, but..."

"Go on. You know you can say anything to me."

"Do you ever think you will remarry?"

"Ah, that. I'm young, and childless. I'm also happy. So who can say? Maybe one day I'll think it more important, but for now... I don't think I will." Isabela smiled. "It's going to be fun having you there with me in Hightown. It _was_ lonely last year without Merrill. But I was also..."

Bethany approached them. "I'm not sure I have clothes enough for Hightown."

"You have clothes enough," Marian said. "What you mean is-"

"We'll get you fixed up before we go, Bethany. And if you fancy anything once we get there, leave it to me."

Bethany looked delighted.

"We couldn't possibly impose," Marian said for her.

"It's not an imposition. What else will I do with my money? I like spending it on my friends."

They were family, and yet Isabela was making it clear she was choosing to give them that attention. Not obligation. Friendship. Marian felt the importance of this and turned her thoughts inward. Could she also choose to see beyond her own expectations of what was appropriate and be more authentic?

"Don't worry, my dear," Isabela said, taking Marian's hand, "I am going to extend you the same courtesy."

"But I don't need any-"

"Nonsense! You'll be glad of them next year when your old clothes are beyond repair."

Bethany laughed, a high-spirited sound Marian was glad to hear, even though she felt gently mocked. "You are cunning, Isabela. By appealing to my sister's practical side, she has no argument."

It was true. At that moment Marian felt the pleasure of being among people who knew her better than most. "Very well. But I must know what I can do in return."

"You are a treasure, Marian Hawke. I only wish to see you happy."

If Marian could find happiness, or even contentment, in the diversions of Hightown and the circle of friends she would have there, it would be a triumph indeed. As much as she wished to see Fenris, the idea of being busy in such a crowded place meant a meeting may not even take place. This, in her current state of mind, could be turned into comfort. She did not want to pine. She had been freed of that rather abruptly.

 

The de Launcet's stay had ended and the parties fixed their own dates for travelling to Hightown: Isabela would go first with the Hawke sisters and then Varric and Elegant would go a few days later. Leandra chose to stay behind to make some alterations to Lowtown cottage with the help of the servants.

"You will be seeing your brother and his family, so be sure to give them my regards."

"I will, Mother."

"And it would serve you to become better acquainted with your sister-in-law's family, for they are bound to be in town."

Marian could not agree too readily, since she could not publicly dash the hopes that her mother had built up with regards to Fenris. She could only hope that time would diffuse them, if she showed even less of a romantic inclination towards him than before. No, she would not ask questions about his and Varania's mother, like Fifi had, and carelessly show her hand.

Bethany peered out of the window at the sound of the carriage, bonnet already on. Her eagerness remained unchecked.

"Mrs. Jennings will take care of her," Leandra said, "and you as well. Do not look so sorry to be undertaking such a journey! I have high hopes for both of you. You must enjoy yourselves and tell me all about it."

Marian kissed her on the cheek. "You will forgive me if I do not entrust Bethany's care entirely into someone else's hands. I will look out for her in every way."

"Mama! We are going!" Bethany rushed to take Marian's place, clutching Leandra's hands, tears in her eyes.

"Oh, my Bethy." Leandra kissed her too and embraced her. "My dearest. I hope for good news!"

Marian put her own bonnet on and went out to begin directing which trunks should go where. She would find employment enough in Hightown. In order to properly influence her sister's behaviour, she must also make it her mission to study any encounter with Sebastian with the highest scrutiny. Her own happiness had been stalled; to make Bethany's hopes a reminder of this would be painful and cause a rift between them. Therefore, to avoid comparison she must focus on the particulars of _their_ situation, not just to save Bethany from the unhappiness of disappointment, but to find sincere joy if it was in Sebastian's power to offer her a future.

 

Bethany had cried for much of the first half of the journey on account of the separation from their mother, which would last for a few months, but was in high spirits again as they approached Hightown.

Isabela's town house was tall and, while not the most elegant they had passed, respectable. Her servants attended them as soon as they arrived and they received every attention possible. Their rooms were pretty and, as they found out, still held some of the charm of their previous inhabitant, Merrill.

"She would stay with me before she married your cousin. We attended the same young ladies' academy and, even though we did not share any classes due to our age difference, we became friends. She excelled at history and painting and applied herself a lot more seriously than I did."

Marian thought one would only admit such a thing to those in their close circle.

"She has a pretty voice so outshone me in music, too. You know, you both have a lot in common with her. But she doesn't do any of that much any more. She just dotes on her husband and is going to dote on their child even more." Isabela smiled. "Well, I'll leave you to get settled. I have much to do. Listen out for the bell for tea in about an hour."

Bethany discarded her scarf on the chaise and sat down at the writing desk.

"I was going to write to Mother later - unless there is something particular you wanted to tell her?"

"I am not writing to Mama," Bethany said, her cheek stained with a blush.

Marian busied herself putting away her things while Bethany scratched out her letter. If she was writing to Sebastian, then it was possible she had already been corresponding with Sebastian even from Lowtown, and that meant their understanding was deeper than she had perceived. To write to each other indicated they were engaged in secret, just like Fifi and Fenris were.

She could not add this to her letter to Leandra, she thought as she sat to take Bethany's place at the desk. However, if there was a development in response to Bethany's letter, she would encourage her mother to press for an answer if she could not get one herself.

 

Bethany waited by the window for most of the afternoon. Every passing carriage and footstep brought a jolt to her shoulders.

"Surely you will get cold there, Bethany," Marian said, offering her a shawl and putting it around her as if that would ease her body's reactions to the anticipation she was clearly showing. "Come by the fire."

"But I-"

"There's not many people who know we're here, my dear," Isabela called from her comfortable seat. "We'll call round with our cards tomorrow. Not even the Amells are coming today."

Bethany sighed and turned from the window. A knock came from below them and her eyes widened in alarm as she jumped from her seat. "That was indeed this house! You cannot tell me I am hearing things."

Marian put a hand on her arm. "Still yourself. Sit. They will not come up faster for you running half the steps for them."

"Oh Marian, it is Sebastian. It has been too long. What should I say?"

Marian knew that Bethany was not asking her advice, but asking herself the same question she must have done since anticipating this meeting. Isabela looked at Bethany with a smile, only standing when the footsteps came up to the landing.

Bethany rushed to the door, and when it opened to reveal Anders, she was too shocked to greet him and immediately excused herself from the room, her pained expression reflected in Anders' disappointment at her reaction.


End file.
